Week 12 Reflection

After looking at the talks of Ella Luna and Cornel West, and reading the pieces by George Lowenstein and Moene, I found myself doing a lot of self-reflection, that I had never really done before. I would identify myself as someone who is very goal-oriented and has a lot of drive to do what I am passionate about, but after watching Ella Luna’s talk on the importance of identifying musts, I found myself unsure what created my identity. Sure, I could identify with the musts like soccer, or more activity-based things, but in terms of morals or values, I felt lost in what my “moral compass” was. I began to do some self-reflection, trying to find what drove me specifically.

One thing that I realized, is that whatever I was truly passionate about, gave me this excitement and hope that I chased. Whether that be soccer, or skiing, or cars, or camping, everyone gave me this fuzzy feeling. Everything else, that felt like a should, would create dread, or fear, like something I was forced to do.

However, when it came to less physical things for musts, I felt there was one key thing that stood out to me. Perfecting the things that made me feel excited and passionate served as the source of my happiness. I realized that everything that I set my mind to over my short lifespan has been driven by the joy of seeing progress. I looked at my mattering maps outlined by Lowenstein and found that my happiness was based on the goal of progress. And while I thought that might be a pretty toxic trait, I realized that progress in something like camping was simply being able to internalize the activity's spirit. Therefore, my sense of progress differed from thing to thing, and for some, was very easy to achieve. I also saw this sense of progress in the liminal period discussed by Turner, where you start something brand new as an outsider and slowly build in the community and atmosphere surrounding the activity.

Through these readings and videos, I had done something I had almost never done before. I think oftentimes we are so emersed in what we are doing, that we fail to see why we are doing it. I saw where my passions were created, and now I have a better sense of judgment of actions in the future.